I believe that every relationship is a choice. A monogamous relationship is a choice, a polyamorous relationship is a choice. We all make the decision to date others and to make relationships work so in that respect ‘being polyamorous’ in practice is totally a choice.
But, what I believe you are asking is not if the relationship is a choice but if the thought process is. *keep in mind these are my personal opinions* :)
I don’t view polyamory or monogamy in the same ways I view sexual orientation. I feel that for many (probably most even) sexual orientation is not a choice but just who they are. Are some people born gay? yes. Are some people born straight? yes. Are some people born Asexual? yes. Are some people born with out any preference at all? yes. Do some people change their mind over time and experience? yes. Orientation is a very personal type of attraction.
Now Monogamy and Polyamory are practices. You make the choice to practice anything. You can feel deep down that you are polyamorous but do I believe some people were “born poly?” I believe that some people are born with the capacity to be poly, with the limitless love needed to maintain multiple relationships. But I also think it is a choice to peruse that part of yourself.
Idk, I have a hard time feeling like we are a biologically monogamous species and I feel that Monogamy is an ideal that was put on us by our environment and respective religions. Monogamy is also a form of population control. I feel like if we were all born 100% mono then we would only ever fall in love once. Think that first true love around the time we hit puberty, that would be IT. If it didn’t work out, we would be solo the rest of our lives. Because I know I have experienced love for more than one person throughout my lifetime I don’t think I am a Monogamous species.
Have I Practiced Monogamy by choice? Yes! And there is nothing wrong with that!
But I have also practiced Polyamory by choice and I feel like it is a lifestyle that more accurately reflects the emotions in my current life.
With all sexuality and relationship lifestyles I think it is very personal to each person. I can speak for myself, but I could never accurately capture everyones thoughts on this subject and I hope I do not offend with my thoughts.
I really can’t add anything to this. :-)